To better understand this type of narcissism and how to know if you’re talking to one, mbg spoke with psychologists and clinical therapists. Here’s what they have to say about conversational narcissism. Remember, it’s possible—and actually much more common—to have traits of narcissism without actually being a narcissist. This is typically the case with conversational narcissism. “Conversational narcissists don’t necessarily meet the criteria for a formal diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD),” Wendy Behary, LCSW, tells mbg. “They’re usually somewhere on the spectrum, though.” Those who aren’t clinically diagnosed narcissists are generally just agenda-driven, says licensed psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D. In a fast-paced world, they’re eager to get their point across quickly without making true connections. “Some conversational narcissists may actually be very anxious,” Durvasula says, “so they bind their anxiety by talking about what is familiar to them—which may be themselves.” This is different from a chatty and extroverted person, who would likely be aware of, and even acknowledge, that they’re talking a lot, “whereas conversational narcissists are not even aware that they’ve hijacked the conversation and made it all about them,” Behary says. If you do choose to engage in conversation with them, know what you’re getting into, Durvasula adds, and make sure to also cultivate more two-sided relationships.
