Meeting your twin flame is considered by some to be the most powerful soul encounter a person can experience. So, we asked experts how to know when you’ve found your twin flame, plus what to know about navigating this oftentimes tumultuous relationship and how to know if you and your twin flame are meant to be together. One of the main characteristics of a twin flame relationship is that it will be both challenging and healing. This is due to the mirroring nature of a twin flame; they show you your deepest insecurities, fears, and shadows. But they also help you overcome them, and vice versa—your twin flame will be equally affected by you. Importantly, each person is still “whole” on their own, says licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli. “There is a misnomer that a twin flame completes you,” she explains. “In reality, relationships are meant to encourage you to be more complete in your own right.” “If you’re in an ‘on and off’-again-type relationship, it could be with your twin flame,” Kaiser says. “You’ll find that things just keep bringing you together in random ways. Could be months, years, even decades; you just always find your way back to one another.” “There is a feeling that you have been brought together by a higher power,” Spinelli notes, and that creates a very strong bond between the two of you. (These can also sometimes be karmic relationships.) In this phase, Spinelli adds, one partner may avoid the other or even abandon the relationship, while the other feels emotionally insecure. “This is where attachment issues arise,” she says. The biggest distinction between a twin flame and any other type of soul mate is that twin flames are two halves of the same whole. A soul mate, on the other hand, can be thought of as someone cut from the same cloth as you. There’s a deep familiarity, and you feel very close, but you aren’t the same soul. “A soul mate changes who you are by bringing you closer to your true and authentic self,” Kaiser says. “Soul mates have contracted to be together, and they don’t always mean romantic love. You can have soul mates that are friends, pets, and family members, etc.” (Here’s more on the soul mate vs. twin flame distinction.) There is also a tendency to give your twin flame unconditional love—aka, letting way too much slide. “Often, twin flame relationships are romanticized, and we tend to overlook some of the negative attributes of the relationship,” she adds. “Twin flames are notorious for being tumultuous if not handled with care,” Kaiser adds. “If we don’t have self-love and awareness, they can become even more painful.” When you do that, the two of you will be catalysts for love, growth, and harmony in each other’s lives.
