The practice of orgasmic meditation can offer many potential benefits, but it also has a somewhat controversial history. Founded in 2004, OM was popularized by a company called OneTaste, which trademarked a sequenced clitoral stimulation procedure for their workshops. Around 2009, the company gained massive media attention and many followers—before an FBI investigation sent it crashing down. The defunct organization is now facing accusations of sex trafficking, labor law violations, and cult-like business operations. (Note: The experts interviewed for this story are not affiliated with OneTaste.) All that said, the practice of OM can and should be divorced from the contentious company. As an independent practice, there are still many benefits one can gain from practicing OM in a safe, consensual space. Indeed, in a 2021 study, researchers found that OM induced intense emotions of positivity1, heightened partner connection, and significant brain activity in areas linked to oneness, self-transcendence, surrender, and spirituality. In meditation, there’s also an art in letting go completely and detaching from an outcome, which can be a beneficial mindset to bring into sex. “With OM, you are focused on an internal practice and being grounded in your breath and energy rather than the physical touch,” psychotherapist and sex therapist Melinda DeSeta, LMHC, says. The idea is to “focus on your breath and keep your mind calm and focused on the pleasure.” By centering stillness, pleasure is no longer a formulaic transaction but an experience to be slowly felt and self-expressed. According to Richmond, OM isn’t seen as a regular practice like traditional meditation or caring for your mental and physical health, although it should be. “Sexual health still hasn’t gotten to a place where it’s being prioritized on a daily basis,” she says. This speaks to the prioritization of sexual wellness, which is usually seen as an option and at the bottom of the list for most people. On a more practical note, women take an average of 20 minutes4 to reach full arousal. “OM dials that back and takes 15 minutes to tune into that arousal,” Richmond says. This upper left quadrant area is supposedly the most sensitive part, though it varies from person to person, and there isn’t research proving this. “If you’re doing it by yourself, you only need to worry about lifting up the hood and stroking the clit, either with one hand or both. Sometimes, it helps to hold a hand mirror in the other hand to see what you’re doing.” Weiss herself teaches a looser version of OM based on the extended orgasm or deliberate embodied orgasm model. “In extended orgasm or deliberate embodied orgasm, the timing is looser, but people may decide on a time frame, like 20 to 30 minutes or even an hour.” Timing the experience can feel clinical, but she explains many people who teach the practice use the timer to challenge the transactional way we look at sexual reciprocation. Receiving and responding to your partner’s touch is a gift, and you don’t have to do anything in return if you don’t want to, Weiss says. “When you have both agreed that you’ll be receiving pleasure for a certain time frame, you don’t have to worry about taking too long or reciprocating. For that time, it’s all about you.” “Orgasm is sometimes described as [an] ‘activation of the involuntary,’ that is, when your body begins experiencing involuntary responses like shaking, sweating, or contracting or pulsing in the pelvic muscles,” she explains. “Under this definition, orgasm can go on for minutes or even hours. It’s a sensation people can stay present with and savor rather than it starting and ending in a fleeting second.” Weiss says that by seeing an orgasm as a broader range of sensations, it helps some people feel validated and understand that their sexual experiences can be as good, maybe better, than the experiences of people who frequently climax. Richmond and Weiss both teach the practice for all bodies, including men and people with penises. “For people with penises, it’s slower stroking for 15 minutes with the scrotum,” Richmond says. The giver can play around with the speed, stroke pattern, and pressure. (Our lingam massage guide might also be helpful here.) If you choose to incorporate an orgasmic meditation practice into your life, it can connect you to your sexual wellness and open up your orgasm, a sensation that already innately exists within you and that you have the right to access.
