But trust is one of those things that we can’t just skip over. It’s a crucial ingredient in our relationships; some call it the foundation. Without it, it’s really difficult to settle in and just love. Here, the eight truths of trust. Basically: We’re all in the same boat. I say this because it’s comforting to realize that we’re not alone. (We’re in this together, people!) We’ve all been hurt, and we’re all trying to avoid that happening again. And this is the problem. Because there are never any guarantees. Asking someone to “earn our trust” often means we are asking them not to make any mistakes and not to cause us to feel uncomfortable feelings. And this is an impossible task. RELATED STORY: How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship After It’s Been Broken I wish I could tell you otherwise, but the truth is that disappointment, rejection, fear, abandonment, and miscommunication are all part of the deal in relationships. We feel these feelings regardless of who we are with. Not because we are with untrustworthy people but because we are humans. Trusting is a decision you must make knowing that there aren’t any guarantees. RELATED STORY: The 7 Elements Of Trust, According To Brené Brown RELATED STORY: Do You Trust Yourself? 21 Signs You Need To Build Self-Trust If we could collectively realize this and approach others (and ourselves) with compassion when we are acting out, rather than condemnation, this world would be a completely different place—and our relationships would definitely be filled with a lot more trust. You recognize that trust isn’t about never feeling another negative emotion again; it’s about knowing that you can handle anything that comes your way. That will build trust. What you are saying when you choose to trust someone is, “I know that deep down you are a good person with good intentions. I know you are going to get scared and lose it from time to time, and I will try to support you and/or act with compassion when that happens. And I know that ultimately, my well-being is up to me.” This is a big statement—a real commitment. It is also very doable. When you do, you will be able to offer trust to others, too, and it will serve as the foundation for many long-lasting, loving relationships to firmly build upon.
