We’ve all been there—but the truth is, it is totally possible to make new friends, no matter how old you are. Here’s advice on how to make friends as an adult, from three relationship experts: “When we start to focus on doing things that make us feel good and engage in a way that increases positive feelings, it makes it easier to see and connect with other people we resonate with,” she adds. “One of my favorite ways to make friends as an adult is Meetup,” says somatic psychologist Holly Richmond, Ph.D. “There’s also My Social Calendar.” Engaging in things you enjoy, whatever they are, “can reduce fears of awkwardness by giving you something to focus on besides the people involved,” Beurkens adds. For a little inspiration, here are just some of the activities you can consider, offered by Beurkens, Namavar, and Richmond: “Instead of talking about yourself or thinking you have to impress this person, lead with curiosity and ask questions about them,” she says. “We’re all so in our head, so if you can help get someone out of their head a bit, it’s generally really endearing.” Mutual friends are a great place to start as well, Namavar notes. “Sometimes it makes it easier to be social if a friend is with you that you already feel comfortable with,” she says. Plus, if they already get along with one of your friends, there’s a good chance you’ll like them too. As much as your inner social butterfly allows, say “yes” when you receive an invite. You never know until you try, and the more you put yourself out there, the more people you’ll meet. Richmond recommends letting friends and family know you want to make new friends as well, “So they can put feelers out for you, and invite you to things they’re going to.” “Not everyone’s going to like you, but as we get older, you can accept that not everyone needs to like you,” she adds. And when you live your truth, “then you can find the people who do,” she says. “The key is to have at least one or two people in your life you can rely on and feel connected to,” Beurkens notes. You don’t have to overwhelm yourself by booking your calendar to the brim. Start by simply finding one new person to reach out to, and take it from there. Once you decide to make new friends, put yourself out there and get involved in an activity that really lights you up. You’re bound to meet someone new. Tell that cool girl in your yoga class you like her leggings, or introduce yourself to your neighbor down the street that you’ve always thought seemed nice. Every interaction is a chance for a new connection when you’re open and looking.
