Particularly in the case of gaslighting, which is a confusing and manipulative form of emotional abuse, recognizing the problem takes a lot of awareness. Here are signs of gaslighting parents and examples of common phrases they might use, plus steps toward healing you can take. The origin of the term can be traced to a British play in which an abusive husband manipulates the surroundings and events with the goal of making his wife question her reality. People use gaslighting to “gain an upper hand and avoid accountability,” according to Andrea Papin, RTC, and Jess Jackson, LMT, therapists at Trauma Aware Care. RELATED: What Is Gaslighting? 11 Signs, Examples & How To Stop It Even if the parent does remember the moment differently, Spinelli says this type of gaslighting creates an invalidation of the person’s feelings, which can be harmful. If a parent is constantly questioning the reality of their child, that’s a sign of gaslighting, she says. “This creates a child who is indecisive or is challenged by understanding their own feelings, opinions, and wants or needs,” Spinelli adds. The parent puts words into their child’s mouth about how they’re feeling: Other parents (namely, the enmeshed kind) may just be overwhelmed and project their own inner wounds and past experiences onto their children. “This leaves their child feeling misunderstood, lonely, disconnected, and often angry,” Muñoz explains. “It may also erode a child’s sense of self/self-confidence.” Those who tend to push their views onto a child, aka authoritarians, gaslight out of an attempt to maintain control, Muñoz adds. “This may have been how they were raised, or it may be that they have a low tolerance for anxiety.” Narcissism, emotional immaturity, a need for attention, and deep-rooted shame, are all other potential root causes of gaslighting, Spinelli states. Seeking support from trusted friends, family members, and professionals can also help. Read more stories on gaslighting:
