As this story shows, attachment styles can be a helpful way of understanding not only your own behavior in relationships—but also determining compatibility with others. Unless resolved through self-work, attachment issues persist through adulthood, and the three insecure attachment types can lead to dysfunction and chaos in intimate, family, and social relationships. We can develop a secure attachment style by engaging in solid self-work whether we are in or out of a romantic partnership. That said, some attachment styles are not a good fit and tend to make self-evolution and relationship-evolution difficult—if not impossible. So, when you’re looking for a partner, you’ll want to know your personal attachment style and have enough information to spot a potential partner’s attachment style. By slowing down to detect a new partner’s attachment style early on, you can stop an unhealthy partnership before it really gets going. And if the mix is a good one, you might find yourself in the most connected relationship of your life. Although every situation is unique, the general guidelines below will help you pay more attention to the attachment style pairings that may be great “green light” fits, those that you might want to approach with “yellow light” caution, and those “red light” dynamics that make for significant challenges. Blending traditional psychotherapy with alternative mindfulness practices, Manly knows the importance of creating healthy balance, awareness, and positivity in life. Recognizing the need for greater somatic awareness in society, Dr. Manly has integrated components of mindfulness, meditation, and yoga into her private psychotherapy practice and public course offerings. Her psychotherapeutic model offers a highly personalized approach that focuses on discovering and understanding each individual’s unique needs and life-path goals.
