You may be the one with commitment issues, or you may be in a relationship where your partner may be experiencing them. Either way, it’s important to understand what commitment issues really mean and how to navigate them when they’re affecting you. For those in relationships, commitment issues might look like a partner rejecting an opportunity to pursue a higher level of investment in the relationship like getting married or moving in together. For people just getting to know someone in the early dating phase, commitment issues might look like having a great time together but noticing the person is reluctant to move to the next level to date seriously. Commitment is a state or quality of being dedicated to a person, cause, or activity. In the context of the typical monogamous relationship, commitment usually means you are willing to go through the phases of a relationship together. There is a sense of progression. But a person with commitment issues struggles with this sense of dedication and taking the next steps. Here are some possible causes of commitment issues: If you wish to improve in this area, you should consider the following: Then, practice commitment in those other areas of your life! Learn to be more emotionally available by expressing your thoughts and feelings and working through difficult emotions within yourself and others. Keep your word when it comes to the commitments you make with family and friends. Follow through in a timely manner on your assignments at work. And don’t forget to make future plans with your partner and other loved ones! If you are dealing with someone with commitment issues, the first thing to do is determine if this relationship is for you. No matter how much you love and care about someone, a relationship should be serving your needs and progressing (if that’s what you want). Ignoring red flags or deal-breakers is a sure way to end up in an unhappy relationship. Ask your partner why they have commitment issues in the first place, and seek to understand their anxieties around commitment. Don’t focus on forever but on the here and now. In other words, if you are not in the phase of getting married or having kids, then focus on your current situation and the present moment. Watch for improvements. Remember: Slow progress is still progress. If you see they are trying, acknowledge their efforts. If there isn’t any progress and you do not appear to be on the same page about the relationship’s future, then this may be a relationship you need to end before one or more parties get deeply hurt. As a relationship therapist in private practice at KW Couples Therapy, Jackson helps couples heal their relationship, prevent divorce, and keep families together while increasing sexual, physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. She has helped countless couples increase their intimacy, learn effective two-way communication, and heal after affairs.
