Friendships aren’t without conflict and miscommunication, though. This is normal in friendships and, when resolved in a conscious and healthy way, can be corrective experiences and can even enhance the relationship. However, there comes a time in our lives when friendships (yes, including childhood ones) end up draining us more than they nurture us, cause us significant stress, and have a negative impact on our mental health. With those friendships, it is OK to set boundaries and even OK to call it quits. Staying friends with someone only because there is history or because you feel guilty for leaving them is a recipe for burnout and resentment. Here, I’ve listed nine signs that indicate it might be time to end a friendship: A toxic or unhealthy friend may compete with you, and you may never know it. It manifests itself as always trying to “one-up” you; you may be sharing your own accomplishments, which then results in them bragging about something they have done—a sign of their inability to sit with your successes. They may put you down in front of others and fail to provide genuine and authentic support when you are doing well. You may notice that these friends are more readily available or only want to listen when you are going through a tough time, versus when you want to celebrate something good. These are the friends who don’t support or reinforce your goals, who prevent you from pursuing your dreams, and whose behaviors limit you from furthering yourself in life. You might find that these friends may not respect where you are in life and ask you to do things that no longer fall in line with who you are or where you are trying to go. When you are with them, you find yourself falling back into old behaviors and patterns that you may have been trying to shed. It is OK to have friends with whom your values and ethics no longer align; however, when the mismatch in values and ethics prevents you from growing and getting to where you want to go, it is OK to choose a friend circle that supports your growth and fosters the best version of you. Just because you are friends with someone does not mean that they are entitled to your emotional energy. When you find yourself being emotionally drained by someone, this is a sign that the friendship no longer “sparks joy.” Additional symptoms when spending time with someone who is emotionally draining are feeling: Ultimately, how you feel within the friendship is a big indicator that it is time to end the friendship. It’s important to listen to how we feel and to end relationships that are not positively contributing to our personal growth and mental health. It is important to strive for friendships that leave us feeling heard, respected, appreciated, safe, and loved. There is nothing wrong with ending friendships. This is a healthy part of sending boundaries and practicing self-care. She regularly shares insights and wisdom on her popular Instagram platform @alyssamariewellness, where she has over 66,000 followers.
