According to licensed therapist Nancy Colier, LCSW, many of the best dating apps available today make it super simple to connect with people that are your age, have similar interests, or are looking for the same thing as you. To help get you started, here are the seven best dating apps and sites for people over 40 that have proven track records of success. And even if you don’t want children, of course the urgency to find a partner can still exist. Colier notes that singles in middle age may feel “fundamentally flawed or lacking” because they haven’t “checked the box” that so many of their peers have. “For a lot of women, there is still such strong cultural conditioning that we’re not complete until we’re in a relationship—and it’s madness,” she adds. Plus, between family obligations and busy work schedules, it may be challenging to meet singles your age out and about, even when you’re frequenting events and social scenes near you. But the good news is, Colier tells mbg, dating in your 40s also gives you the unique opportunity to swim in the dating pool as a mature adult with a strong sense of self. “If we’ve done some inner work, then in the 40s, we have the possibility of having a much healthier relationship. Another person brings an addition to our life if we’re healthy, as opposed to, ‘You fill me up,’ or, ‘I need you to be OK,’” she explains. And as couples’ therapist Kyle Zrenchik, Ph.D., LMFT, ACS, previously explained to mbg, eharmony has a proven history of success, they regularly improve their site, and are well known for helping couples reach long-term relationships. “eharmony also claims to be responsible for 4% of marriages in the U.S,” he adds. (Here’s our full eharmony review if you’d like to know more.) Price: Monthly subscriptions range between $12/month and $60/month. Use code MBG20 to save 20% on memberships. Match has been in the game for nearly 30 years, and it’s up there with eharmony for its reputation for sparking true love—while also being a smidgen more affordable. The site boasts 39 million users, and their unique algorithm helps you find matches based on the kind of people you swipe yes or no on. (Here’s our full Match review for more details.) Price: Start with a weeklong free trial with limited features, then subscribe if you wish with subscriptions ranging from about $16/month to $27/month. According to reviews, Christian Mingle is easily the most popular site for Christian singles and known for producing successful relationships. It also gauges factors like education and interests so you can find a well-rounded match. Price: Subscription is required for messaging on Christian Mingle, with prices ranging from around $42/month down to $20/month when you commit to half a year. As sex therapist Aliyah Moore, Ph.D., previously told mbg, “OkCupid’s full, detailed profiles let you show who you are and what matters to you. Its compatibility ratings are really helpful in helping to understand a potential date before you even meet them. Price: OkCupid is free to use, though there are upgrades that can be purchased for even more features and filters. Subscriptions cost $35 on a month-to-month basis or $17/month if you sign up for six months. “I find that Bumble has the most active users on its platform—which is great to increase the chances of matching with someone you really like,” Schneider says, adding, “The women must initiate the conversation [when matching with men], but with same-sex matches, either can begin the chat.” Of course, depending on your preferences, you may view that as a pro or a con, but if men making the first move for the past 40 years hasn’t been working, it might be time to try a new approach. Price: Bumble is free with the option to purchase upgrades ranging from $19.99 for one week to a lifetime membership for $229.99. While it may not be the prettiest interface compared to some of the other options on this list, Moore adds that most SingleParentMeet’s members are between 35 and 44 years of age, so it’s a good option for finding people within your age range. Price: You do have to pay in order to send messages, but at only $5/month for a six-month membership, it’s very accessible. Some patience may be required with so many users to swipe (which can be a good and bad thing), but as Schneider notes, “I find with my clients that it’s still widely used, which can be helpful if you’re not in a city and live in a more remote area,” she says. Price: Tinder’s free version has everything you need to swipe, match, and chat. Upgrades cost between $10 and $40 a month, or less if you lock yourself into a longer contract. “A relationship has a far better chance of moving forward if it’s about something real,” Colier tells mbg. She adds that the idea here is to take your singleness as an opportunity “not to chase harder but to actually get interested in ourselves and the relationship we have with ourselves.” But the truth is, any healthy partnership will involve a bit of give-and-take, and staying open to people’s uniqueness is what real love is all about. Be sure to check out our guide to online dating for more tips.
