Fake friends usually want something from you but give nothing back in return, explains psychotherapist Annette Nuñez, M.S., Ph.D. “You’re the one that’s carrying the friendship, and the friend is not.” Rather than it being a reciprocal friendship, Leeds notes fake friends do not have your best interest at heart and “view the friendship from the perspective of what they can get from you rather than a place of genuine care for you.” If you think they have the interest and capacity to be vulnerable and generous with you, “it may be worth giving your friend the opportunity to turn things around by having an honest conversation about how you’ve been feeling,” Leeds says. However, if you’ve made it this far and firmly believe this person to be a fake friend with no hope for reconciliation, it’s probably best to walk away. And even in the case of talking about it, Nuñez notes, “You have to remember with fake friends: What is their agenda?” The best thing you can do is trust your gut and intuition. If this person consistently makes you feel bad, it’s not a friendship that’s serving you, and there is no need to keep entertaining that kind of relationship. “If it’s not a mutually beneficial friendship, it’s not worth it,” Nuñez adds. And if you’re looking for a firmer ending, Nuñez says you should “break up” with them just as you would with someone you’re dating: by telling them the relationship is no longer serving you, and you think it would be best to go your separate ways. Leeds adds that having the conversation can “feel empowering or give you clarity or closure,” but for many people in a fake friendship, it doesn’t even seem necessary because “the friendship lacked the realness and intimacy that usually warrants this type of honest dialogue.” However you decide to go about it, it’s about staying true to yourself, your boundaries, and your needs.
