Here are 11 ways to redirect that energy, take your mind off that certain someone, and gain back some peace: Then you want to ask yourself, Did my actual experience with this person really deliver the meanings it was supposed to? “For most of us, in most relationships, the answer will be, ‘Well, yes and no,’” Snyder adds. It’s not uncommon to romanticize the past. RELATED: How To Start & Stick With A Journaling Practice That Supports Mental Health RELATED: 8 Reasons You Can’t Get Over Your Ex & Can’t Move On Give yourself time to think and process, and in time, you can decide if it’s worth reaching out. “If this is a relationship that could be good,” Page says, “try putting both feet in and giving it all you have. Maybe the fact that you can’t stop thinking about this person is for a good reason.” According to Snyder, “Often, it means you don’t want to get that person off your mind—most often because the thought of them is extremely meaningful to you.” Page adds that the points above about romanticizing the past (and even the person) are still relevant. “Best to realize you’re probably idealizing the person you miss and not remembering the reality. When people get back together after a breakup, they often suddenly remember all the things that made the relationship problematic.” And FYI: There are no grounds for the idea that if you can’t stop thinking about someone, they’re thinking about you too. RELATED: How To Actually Let Go Of Someone & 14 Signs It’s Time, From Therapists “It can be hard to imagine, in the moment, that your feelings will ever fade,” he says. “You might even not want them to fade. But feelings do change over time. That’s just the nature of things. You’ll change over the months and years, and so will the person you have feelings for. None of us stay the same.” When we do these things, we open ourselves up to attract the right person. “Until we close the door on those relationships with people who chip away at our sense of self-worth,” Page says, “we can never open the door to the new ones, into a new life where we finally do find healthy love.”
