Worry is a normal response to the uncertainties of pregnancy, as well as to caring deeply about our babies. And there are a lot of legit things to be concerned about, like the health effects of the chemicals in our cosmetics and the antibiotics in our foods. So, to encourage you to step away from the stress, here’s a list of 11 things you definitely don’t have to worry about during your pregnancy: If you’re reading this, my guess is you’re already a health-conscious adult and aren’t regularly engaged in activities that can harm baby, like drinking excessively or using cocaine. The truth is, most babies are born healthy and perfect. And when there is a problem, it’s just not your fault. Period. The truth is that during the first and second trimesters, you don’t need any more calories than usual. And by the third trimester you only need 300 more calories a day (double that if you’re pregnant with twins). That’s the equivalent of just a glass of milk and half a sandwich. So if you’re eating an overall healthy diet, let go of the worry that you’re not eating enough for baby. But if you’re having symptoms of pregnancy loss, preterm labor, or have what’s called placenta previa, that’s a different story — follow the “nothing goes in the vagina” rule until your midwife or doctor clears you. So unless you have to restrict certain foods for your own health, liberating your diet can actually be beneficial to your baby. Keep it healthy, but don’t restrict. But until you’re six months pregnant, this isn’t something to be concerned about. After six months, the weight of the baby and your uterus can cause pressure on a large vein called the inferior vena cava, restricting blood flow to you and baby. However, if you find that you’ve rolled over onto your back during the night, don’t worry! It’s very unlikely that this would cause harm to baby. The truth is that you’d have to be under a lot of stress (we’re talking war zones or violent homes) for stress to have a serious impact on your baby’s health. The normal stresses most of us experience daily — money worries, relationship tensions, and job anxieties — are not going to cause your baby to have three heads or lifelong depression. As a species, we’ve given birth to healthy offspring under much worse threats. Just make sure your diet includes plenty of vegetarian protein sources (legumes, beans, nuts, and seeds), calcium (organic tofu, almonds, tahini, and green leafy veggies), and iron (legumes, green veggies, red beans, dried apricots, and raisins). And if you’re vegan, make sure to take a B-12 supplement. Work with your midwife or an integrative nutritionist who is pregnancy-savvy to make sure you’re meeting your prenatal nutritional needs. There aren’t too many symptoms to worry about, so make sure to talk with your midwife or doctor about those. You can also learn about natural solutions for common symptoms in my book, The Natural Pregnancy Book. You can’t force a homebirth, vaginal birth, unmedicated birth, or a perfect story. And worrying about it is not going to get you there. The best thing you can do is prepare for labor. Take childbirth classes and read books that are supporting of the kind of birth you hope to have. (I recommend Spiritual Midwifery and Birthing From Within to start.) You can also take a hypnobirthing class to give you mind-body skills that can help. If something comes up that requires you to reroute your plans — for example, a medical reason to have a cesarean — it’s totally appropriate to grieve. But be gentle with yourself and just make sure you’re in good hands. It’s all good. Fear of our own death stems from the intense uncertainty of the process of birth, compounded by the historical risks, magnified by movies in which birth is depicted as dangerous and even life-threatening. That can make birth feel really terrifying. The reality is that there is an infinitesimally low risk of dying in childbirth for healthy women in the U.S. There’s also a very low infant mortality rate. Remind yourself that it’s normal to have such thoughts. And then have an affirmation or meditation you can use to transform the fear. Talk your worries out loud with your midwife or other women, or write them down in a journal. If you’re severely plagued by worry or anxiety, it’s important to talk to a prenatal mental health professional. I’ve had many wonderful women tell me they were kicked out of natural mom online groups because they had an epidural or needed a C-section. My response? What other people think is not your worry. How you do your pregnancy, birth, and parenting is your business alone. If you’re worrying about what other people think, please, stop right now — because it will keep you from making the choices that are best for you and your baby. And when you make the choices that are right for you, your family and friends will get on board, and you’ll find the right mommy groups for yourself too!
